Hold Onto the Memories
By Jennifer Sylvester
Written in memory of her Papa Jim Mckinnon.
As I study my Papa staring out the window oblivious to the outside world of Bendale Acres nursing home in his large rocking chair I need to constantly remind myself that he's the same person.
He's the same person, in that same rocking chair, that would rock me to sleep, my cheek warm against his where I would feel the safest in the world.
My papa was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease when I was about seven years old, and I hate everyday that this evil disease stole him from us.
It has been ten years since he has been the papa I knew and loved; yet we still see him every week.
I know he may not know my name, but the most important this is, I still know his. Even though my papa lost his memory, I didn't. The memories of playing hide and seek, going to Thompson park, and him telling me that he loved me with all his heart is still fresh in my mind as if it happened yesterday.
Even though he can't remember the memories that brought us closer, I can remember for the both of us.
So after ten years when I look at my Papa now with a blank, lifeless smile on his face and compare him ten years in the past with a smile full of love and energy, I can only think that even though his brain has died, what's in his heart has stayed the exact same.
I have come to realize that we must hold onto our memories because sometimes it's all we've got left.
© Jennifer Sylvester 2008
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